i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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