therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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