My brain says no but my pants say off.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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