I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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