it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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