I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it was like eating out sand paper
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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