I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
