he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
