Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
