My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
