He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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