we have pet lesbian snakes
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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