Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
