Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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