i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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