At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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