Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the day after is always just damage control
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize