They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
