Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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