Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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