How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
