Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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