i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
