There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
