I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
