I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize