I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
