woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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