Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
we should paint friendship bongs
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