You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm getting married
To pizza
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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