I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
