No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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