apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize