i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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