I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize