kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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