Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
