Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
and you fell through a lawn chair
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
