Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize