I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
