i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
