doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
