you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
