That's intense
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
