Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
