Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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