So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
