you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
