My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
