I'm eating all of the evidence.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize