Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
