He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
