I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
