Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
