I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Mom said you looked used
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
