fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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