I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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