Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I queefed so loud it echoed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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