i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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