i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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