Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
