Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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